The Crowns Fool
by TheCauldron
Summary: Sarah wasn't the only one to enter the Labyrinth that day. Poor Jareth doesn't know what he is in for! (Sarah bashing)
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I make no money from this. All rights to the appropriate parties.

* * *

Chapter 1

Kelsey Williams sighed as she looked up at the white Victorian that was her new home. Robert, her uncle, walked ahead of her up the steps, pausing only to usher her across the threshold. The smell of roast lamb filled the pristine home, but Kelsey was too tired to be particularly interested in anything other than cleaning her teeth and falling into bed.

"I'll show you your room, then when you're settled, come down and meet the rest of the family." Robert smiled sympathetically. He shifted her small bag to his other hand and led her up the stairs, indicating the various rooms along the hall and explaining which belonged to whom. Arriving at the last door, he walked into the tiny room and set her bag on the single bed. "I know it's not much, but you can set it up however you like. We can go shopping tomorrow if you're up to it. Get you whatever you need." He shifted a little, unsure how to deal with his new ward. Making his excuses, he left the room, shutting the door behind him.

Looking around the bland shoebox that was her new accommodations, Kelsey felt a stab of longing for her old room. She ruthlessly crushed it, determined not to think of her old home. Thinking of home led to remembering why she couldn't live there anymore. And she was too tired to deal with that particular emotional tidal wave right now. Sighing again, the lithe brunette quickly tugged her shirt down to cover her scars, then unpacked her meagre belongings and put them away. Taking a deep breath, she turned and walked down the stairs to meet the rest of her new family.

* * *

"So Kelsey," Karen began as they ate, her tone carefully modulated to show the appropriate amount of concern. "Robert tells me you didn't bring very much with you. When can we expect the rest of your belongings to arrive?"

Kelsey kept her face carefully neutral. She already disliked this woman. "There isn't anything else coming, ma'am. Everything was destroyed in the fire." She knew that the pretentious woman was aware of this, and that the entire purpose of this awkward conversation was to establish the woman's dominance over the newest member of her household. Ruthlessly shoving down the stab of grief that came with the memory of the fire, she focused on keeping her tone calm and courteous. "Uncle Robert mentioned possibly shopping tomorrow for anything else I might need."

"I'm sorry, but tomorrow probably won't be possible." The woman smiled sympathetically, her eyes gleaming with malice. "Robert will be at work, and I'm simply too busy to take you. You will need to make do until the weekend. We might be able to arrange something then." Turning her gaze to the other young girl at the table, she continued. "Sarah, we need you to babysit Toby on Friday."

Sarah stiffened. "Again? Why do I always have to babysit? It's not fair!"

Karen glared. "Sarah, you will be babysitting on Friday and that's final!"

"Why can't Kelsey do it? She's older and doesn't have a life or anything! It's not like she is going to have anything else to do!" The whining tone was grating, and Kelsey would have done just about anything to make her petulant cousin stop.

"I don't mind, I can babysit if you like," she offered.

Karen's lips pressed together and her nostrils flared very slightly, but otherwise kept her face serene. "Thank you Kelsey, but it's Sarah's responsibility. And I'm sure you will have found something to keep yourself busy by then."

Kelsey nodded and went back to her dinner, correctly having interpreted Karen's response to mean '_I don't trust you, stay away from my son_'. The Williams may be the only family she had left, but clearly she would not be included any more than strictly necessary. Her uncle may have taken her in, but her place in the family was obviously decided by the cold woman across from her.

"What?" Sarah glared, oblivious to the subtext of the conversation. "That's not fair! How come she gets to go out and do whatever she wants but I don't?" She banged her glass back on the table and shoved her chair back, stomping up the stairs and along the hall, slamming her door. Muffled screams of "I hate you" and "it's not fair" drifted back to the rest of the group.

Robert sighed and continued eating his dinner. Sarah had been getting worse, and now she had a new target in her cousin. Kelsey seemed like a good steady girl. He'd hoped that the two girls would become friends, and Kelsey's influence might smooth some of Sarah's rougher edges, but thanks to Karen's intervention, that would now never happen. Sarah would not forget this slight. Observing the quiet girl remaining at the table, he noticed how pale she looked. Clearing his throat, he decided to try to get to know his niece a bit better while he had the opportunity. "Sorry about that Kelsey. Sarah is," he floundered briefly, not wanting to speak badly of his little girl.

"Troubled?" Kelsey smoothly offered. Her voice was clear, and slightly deeper than most women's, but her accent was undisguisable.

Robert grinned faintly and inclined his head in agreement. "So tell me, what's Australia like? Even though my brother lived there, I've never been."

Kelsey rested her cutlery lightly over her plate as she thought. Lips twitching faintly, she decided not to fight the temptation, and carry on the grand Aussie tradition of confusing the hell out of the foreigners. "It's beautiful. We were having a bit of a drought, so there wasn't really any grass for the cattle, but the working roos are tough, so they weren't too bothered. The Drop Bears were getting a bit aggressive though."

Robert blinked. "Working roos? And what's a Drop Bear?"

Kelsey nodded mildly, taking a sip of water. "Mm. We don't use horses for our work like you guys do. We ride kangaroos. Mine was a Big Red called Little Blue. And Drop Bears are dangerous bloody things. They look like a koala, but they drop out of trees onto you and attack. They kill a few tourists each year."

Karen looked horrified, though whether at the thought of riding a kangaroo or tourists being killed by wildlife was unclear. "I've never heard anything about that! If they are so dangerous, shouldn't there be some sort of warning?"

The girl nodded and sipped her drink again, straining to keep her amusement from her face. The drink smothered the chortle threatening to escape. "The Wildlife Board keeps the attacks pretty quiet. We need the tourists. And they are usually pretty safe. It's just the ones that don't take proper precautions that get hurt."

"Oh? What precautions?" Robert tried to look interested rather than disturbed.

"You rub Vegemite on the back of your neck. The Drop Bears hate it."

Robert blinked. "Vegemite? I thought you ate it?"

Really getting into her story now, Kelsey nodded eagerly. "Oh we do! But we use it for lots of stuff. It's really good for making soup, and greasing engines too!"

Both adults looked faintly ill.

Her eyes shining with humour, Kelsey smiled. Too easy. Unable to stop a yawn, she covered her mouth with her fist. "Sorry. Really long flight. Do you want help washing up?"

Karen and Robert both blinked and looked disconcerted.

Realising, Kelsey corrected herself. "Oh, sorry. Haven't had a chance to get used to the different lingo yet. I meant to offer to help wash the dishes."

Understanding, Karen hurriedly refused. "No no, that's perfectly alright. You go get some sleep. You look like you need it."

Kelsey translated mentally; '_don't you touch my good dishes. Now go away so I don't have to look at you_.' "If you're sure. Thank you for dinner." Rising, she carried her plates to the sink, and returned to her room. Quickly grabbing her toiletries, she cleaned her teeth and got into her pajamas, tumbling into bed.

Despite her fatigue, she slept fitfully, her dreams filled with fire and screaming.

* * *

Four months had passed. Kelsey was still firmly the outsider, but the "preferential" treatment Karen bestowed on her led to extreme antagonism from Sarah. Kelsey knew her obnoxious cousin felt that Kelsey was receiving the affection and attention that Sarah deserved, but her attempts to explain that this wasn't the case had resulted in various objects being launched at her head. She decided that it wasn't her problem and kept to herself after that.

Which was why she was sitting in her room listening as Toby cried and Sarah shouted at him. Her heart broke for the little boy, but her attempts to assist Sarah with babysitting had ended… Badly. Between Sarah and Karen, Kelsey hadn't been game to try it again.

Silence. Kelsey went onto high alert, the back of her neck prickling at the abrupt change. Something was horribly wrong. Creeping out of her room, she ghosted down the hall.

Peering around the half open door, Kelsey blinked in surprise. There was a man in there talking to Sarah. Tall and clad in what looked like a black leather breastplate and skin tight pants, his blonde feathery hair stood up in carefully arranged chaos. Fine features were highlighted by winged eyebrows and dramatic eye makeup. A breeze seemed to wrap around him, causing his cloak to shift lightly, and the light to glint off... Was that glitter swirling around him? He spun and twirled a crystal ball between his hands, contact juggling with a mastery few could match. The movements were mesmerising. Kelsey was careful not to look too closely at the crystal. She may have been a girl of the modern world, but she was well read, and this man was definitely not human. She wasn't willing to risk being pulled into whatever magic he was weaving. Silently, she listened.

"You know perfectly well where he is. He's there, at my castle." The man swept his arm back dramatically as he stepped aside, the window giving way to show an orange landscape, a twisting labyrinth surrounding an ominous and equally twisted castle.

The man and Sarah took a step forward, and Kelsey quickly stepped into the room, darting through the portal behind them. The man was so intent on Sarah that he didn't notice her flatten herself on the ground behind them, hidden by the hill and boulders.

"You have thirteen hours to solve the Labyrinth, before your brother becomes one of us, forever. Such a pity..." He faded away, leaving Sarah alone.

"Well, come on feet!" Sarah started down the hill towards the labyrinth walls.

* * *

Kelsey waited, cautiously peering over the top of the hill. Chuckling slightly as Sarah was bitten by a fairy, she shook her head. Sarah thought fairies were nice, and that they granted wishes? What did they look like, genies? Clearly Sarah had been reading the wrong sort of books. Listening to her cousin insulting the dwarf by getting his name wrong again, even as he helped her, Kelsey scowled. The stupid girl would get herself trapped or killed if she didn't mind her manners. The fairy races were sticklers for social niceties, and they did not forget a perceived slight.

Waiting until Sarah was inside and the dwarf had returned to his fairy extermination, Kelsey slithered down the hill and cautiously approached, tugging her shirt down nervously. Stopping out of spraying reach, just in case, she cleared her throat quietly and waited for the odd little man's attention.

With a yelp, the dwarf spun around to face her, face paling beneath his tan. "Who are you?" He growled, taking a few steps back even as he waved his spray gun menacingly.

Hands held out carefully, Kelsey tried to keep her posture non-threatening. "Hello. Hoggle, isn't it? I'm Kelsey."

Hoggle glared suspiciously. "What do you want?" His tone was belligerent, but his fingers still tightly gripping his spray gun revealed his anxiety.

Kelsey shook her head. "Just hoping for information at this point." Taking off one of her rings, she held it out towards him. "I'm willing to barter for it." The greedy look on Hoggles face let her know she was right in her assumptions about the nature of dwarves.

"And just what kind of information would you be after?"

Kelsey thought carefully before responding. She knew Fairy Folk took almost as much delight in twisting requests as genies did, and she wanted to make sure she got the information she needed. "Firstly, I would like to know where I am, and who the blonde man talking to my cousin prior to her entering the labyrinth was. Secondly, I would like to know if there is any way I can ascertain the welfare of my other cousin, Toby, who I believe is currently in the castle; and if so, how to do it." Thinking quickly, she decided that was a sufficient amount of information in exchange for the jewellery. It was only quartz and silver plate after all. Her clear blue eyes watched the dwarf steadily.

Smirking, Hoggle snatched the offered ring, stuffing it into a pouch on his hip. "Well now, I suppose I can answer that. You're in the Underground, in the Goblin Kingdom, outside the Labyrinth. The blonde man was probably Jareth, the Goblin King. As for your cousin, if he is in the castle, then you should know all this. And you now have less than thirteen hours!" Turning, he returned to his fairy genocide.

"I don't know all of this, and you didn't answer my final questions. As for having thirteen hours, I have no idea what you are talking about. Sarah was given thirteen hours, but I was given no such restriction." Kelsey waited patiently, knowing that a deal was a deal, and she would get her answers if she played the game.

"Jareth didn't speak with you?" Hoggle looked back at her in surprise.

"No. You are the first person I've spoken with."

Frowning, Hoggle eyed her again, taking in her cargo pants, moccasins and tank top. "But you wished your Toby away?"

Kelsey shook her head. "I didn't make any wishes. I heard Toby stop crying suddenly, and went to check on him. There was a blonde man talking to Sarah, and he said Toby was in his castle. I slipped through the portal behind them. I don't think either of them know I'm here."

Hoggles jaw dropped at the last, and he blinked uncertainly a few times. Jareth had been so focused on the Sarah girl that he hadn't noticed a tag along? That little titbit was worth much more than the ring the girl had bartered! Not that he would tell her that. "Well then, no wonder you don't know nothing! Sounds like that Sarah wished away your cousin. She has thirteen hours to win him back, else he stays here for good. But you shouldn't be here! If you're thinking of helping that Sarah, you'd best be forgetting about it! Bad enough you're here uninvited!"

Kelsey stepped forward, interrupting his tirade. "I don't intend to help her. I just want to know that Toby is alright."

"Then you'd best be getting to the castle then. Though the Fates know how well _you_ will be once Jareth finds out about you!"

Kelsey nodded solemnly. "Thank you Hoggle. You have been very helpful. Blessings upon you and yours." Kelsey wasn't certain of the correct protocol in this instance, but the folklore she knew indicated extreme politeness was key.

Grumbling under his breath, Hoggle waved a hand and the doors to the labyrinth creaked open. "I ain't going to help you get through, but you can get in there. And don't say I didn't warn you about that rat Jareth!" Stomping off, the squat little man disappeared into the brush surrounding the walls.

"Thank you again Friend Hoggle!" Kelsey called after him, not willing to risk causing offense by not thanking him for his generosity in opening the gates.

Wandering inside, Kelsey paused. There was a blank wall directly in front of her, and the paths ran directly to either side, forming one long corridor with no visible breaks. Closing her eyes she listened carefully. A faint shriek of a tantrum and words that sounded vaguely like "it's not fair" came from her right. Grinning, Kelsey followed her petulant cousins ranting.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Kelsey walked calmly, keeping an eye out for other potential help along the way. She noticed the lichen with eyeballs watching her, and smiled and bowed slightly in response before continuing. She didn't think it was a creature in the traditional sense, but it paid to be cautious.

Finally catching sight of her cousin, she paused, pressing close to the wall to remain unnoticed. Sarah was talking to someone as she disappeared into the seemingly solid wall. Listening carefully, Kelsey snorted slightly. At least she remembered to properly thank whoever helped her this time. Wandering up, she paused where she had seen Sarah and looked around.

"'Ello!" came a small voice from knee level.

Looking down, Kelsey smiled warmly at the little grey and blue worm. The odd little thing had a scarf around its neck, and blue tufts of hair springing wildly from its head. "Hello sir!"

The worm tittered lightly. "Sir, is it? Goodness! Aren't you the polite one! Come in, meet the missus! Have a cup of tea!"

Kelsey shook her head regretfully. "I'm very sorry, but I can't. I need to get to the castle."

The worm nodded sagely. "Well then! You'll be wanting to take the left turn just over there. It will take you straight there!"

Kelsey turned but couldn't see the opening. Remembering that Sarah had just walked through there, she turned back to the worm. "Thank you very much. Is there anything I could assist you with as payment for your directions?" The formal phrasing felt odd in her mouth, but she wasn't willing to risk causing offence or misunderstanding due to differences in colloquialisms if she could help it.

The worm tittered again. "Never you mind payment, luv. It's a pleasure to help such a polite young thing!"

Grinning, Kelsey smiled and gave a slight bow, before walking into the turn and taking the left path as instructed.

Striding quickly along the path, Kelsey kept slightly to the side of the long corridor, wary of traps. Just because this path led directly to the castle (supposedly) didn't mean there weren't deterrents and pitfalls. It would be foolish if there weren't. And yet, there didn't _seem_ to be any? Blinking in surprise when she arrived unmolested at the gates she assumed led to the Goblin City, she frowned at the lack of traps or even interest in her person. To her mind, that just smacked of laziness, or arrogance. Probably both. Oh well, it made her journey considerably easier. And the entire trip took less than half an hour. That was a hell of a shortcut!

Walking up to the castle doors, Kelsey remembered what Hoggle had said about Jareth, especially his comment about not being sure about her wellbeing once she was discovered. She wasn't cowardly by nature, and like most Australians tended towards slightly reckless behaviour, exacerbated by a lack of healthy self-preservation and a love of all things toothed and terrifying. But if Jareth knew she was there, he might present the best image possible regarding Toby's wellbeing. For all she knew he might imprison her or simply show her an illusion while Toby was suffering somewhere else. No, she decided, it was better to fly below the radar while she got a good look at Toby.

Slipping in through a small door at the castle that appeared to be a servant's entrance, she stole along corridors and hallways, keeping to the shadows but being careful to appear as if she belonged there. Nothing was more suspicious than trying not to look suspicious. Following the sounds of music, she carefully peered around the corner. Her eyes widened comically as she saw the blonde man from earlier cavorting and singing with an assortment of creatures she assumed were goblins. His rich voice filled the air as he sang, the lyrics causing her to raise an eyebrow. She looked closely at the creatures in the room, and mentally compared them to the ones she had seen as she traversed the castle. The ones in the room with the King seemed simpler, almost childlike. Combined with the lyrics of the song, she assumed that Toby would change to be like them if Sarah failed. She observed the goblins again, and concluded that for all that they were dirty and smelled truly awful, they were happy and apparently healthy. The ones that staffed the castle were much cleaner and dignified. There was no telling if the childlike ones grew into the other sort, or if it was a side effect of being turned from a child to goblin as opposed to being born. Either way, they all seemed happy and well cared for, and that was all she wanted to know. Even if Sarah failed, Toby would be alright.

Turning back down the hallway, she quickly slipped back out of the castle. Toby was fine, Sarah was occupied, and she couldn't contain her glee at the opportunity to explore a Fairy Realm. Jogging happily back to where she had met the worm, she knelt down and called quietly into the hole she assumed was his home.

"Hello? Sir? Are you there?" She couldn't contain her smile as the worm appeared with a cheerful grin.

"'Ello again! Find what you were after at the castle?"

"Yes, thank you. If it isn't too much of an imposition, I was wondering if you might be able to give me some information about the Labyrinth?"

"Sure enough! What d'ya wanna know?"

"If I wanted to explore a bit, is there anything I should watch out for? I'm not trying to get through it or anything. I didn't wish anyone away, I just want to explore."

"Well, ain't much that will cause real hurt to you here, just lots of things to give you a fright. Lots of puzzles and the like. Just watch for trapdoors into oubliettes. If you fall in ta one a them you ain't likely to get out without help. Probably need to call the Goblin King. An' he won't be happy to find you wandering about unsupervised!"

"Thank you." Kelsey grinned warmly, then frowned. "You won't get in trouble for helping me, will you?"

The worm chuckled. "Don't you worry about me luv. Just promise me that when you meet our King that you tweak his nose some. That boy has been getting his own way for too long. He gets bored." The worm confided the last in a stage whisper, grinning conspiratorially.

Kelsey smirked. "Oh I think I can manage that! And I know just where to start! Which way did Sarah go? If I can catch up with her I can have a field day!"

"Take the right hand passage across there. Touch the walls as they pop up in front of you and say that you are looking for Sarah. They should make way for you since you aren't a Runner. Now, get along with you. I better be hearing about your exploits!"

"Count on it! And thank you again! Say hello to the missus for me!" Kelsey smiled and rose to start chasing after Sarah. "Um, what's your name? I feel strange that you have helped me so much and I don't even know what to call you!"

"Sid."

"I'm Kelsey. Thanks again Sid!"

* * *

Kelsey moved quickly, eager to catch up to her cousin. As instructed, she didn't try to solve the maze, simply touching the wall and stating that she was looking for Sarah. Grinning with delight when they all simply shifted out of her way and created a passageway, she chuckled at the thought of the mischief she could get into.

Rounding a corner, she spied her cousin talking to four creatures in front of two doors. Listening carefully before announcing her presence, she smirked and strolled into the courtyard and leaned against a wall with her arms folded across her chest.

"You know, this place is a lot of fun. I don't know what you keep screaming about." Her voice was dry, and she casually observed her fingernails.

Sarah gasped and whirled, eyes narrowing to a glare when she saw who was speaking.

"What are _you_ doing here?"

"Funny story. My baby cousin was screaming, and then suddenly wasn't. And then there was this guy talking to my _other_ cousin, and a portal, a dwarf, a worm, a song and dance number, the worm again, and here we are!" Kelsey smiled innocently.

"Oh my god! You _followed_ me? It's not enough that I have to _live_ with you, now I can't even escape you _here_? You are _ruining_ my _life_! Why can't you just go away?" Sarah shouted, stamping her foot.

Kelsey ignored the stab of pain and loneliness that comment caused. It was old hat and par for the course now. "So dramatic. Well, don't let me keep you. I believe you have a riddle to solve?" Kelsey smirked, not moving from her spot on the wall.

Sarah glared. "You know you _could_ make yourself useful and help me solve it!"

Kelsey blinked languidly. "And ruin your adventure? Besides, _I'm_ not the one who wished away a helpless child!" She glowered.

Sarah had the grace to blush. Turning back to the Knights and Knaves, she paused, thinking. Walking over to the one on the left, she asked "Alright, answer yes or no. Would he tell me that this door leads to the castle?"

The creatures whispered to each other for a moment. "Yes?"

"Then, the other door leads to the castle, and this door leads to Certain Death!"

The guards hummed in amusement. "How do you know? He could be telling the truth!"

"But then you wouldn't be. So if you told me that he said yes, then I know the answer is no!"

"But I could be telling the truth!"

"But then _he_ would be lying. So if you told me that he said yes, then the answer would still be no!"

Confused, the guard turned to his companion. "Is that right?"

Chuckling, his friend responded. "I don't know! I've never understood it!"

Sarah nodded decisively. "No, it's right. I've figured it out!" She opened the door on the right, and shot a smug look at Kelsey. "It's a piece of cake!" She squealed as the ground under her feet gave way and she disappeared down the trapdoor.

Kelsey shook her head. "Well, that was entertaining, but I think I'll be staying out of the oubliette." She turned to the Knights and Knaves. "Nicely played gentlemen. You have the act down perfectly!"

The guards chuckled. "Need to make your own fun 'round here!"

Kelsey looked at them thoughtfully. "Yes, I suppose you do. Speaking of fun, I've been given a task, and I should get back to it." She carefully leaned over the edge of the still open trap door. "You really aren't very good at this, are you?" She called loudly. A string of insults and a smattering of foul language drifted back up to her. Grinning, Kelsey shrugged and looked around. Gleefully scaling a wall, she ignored the spluttering of the Knights and Knaves and settled down on the top edge, looking for all the world like she was about to take a nap.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Jareth peered into his crystal as he watched Sarah. "She's in the oubliette." The goblins around him cackled and jeered. "Shut up! She shouldn't have made it as far as the oubliette! She should have given up by now!" Whatever else he might have said was forgotten as an unfamiliar voice called to Sarah, and she responded with venom. Frowning, Jareth tried to ignore the unladylike speech and work out who she was talking to. Summoning another crystal, he peered at the area above the trapdoor, watching as the Knights and Knaves shouted to someone to "Get down from there" and that "you can't nap there! That's cheating!" Curiosity piqued, he dropped the crystal, transporting himself to the scene of the ruckus.

Looking over at the Knights and Knaves, he followed their line of sight and looked up. Scowling, he adopted an intimidating stance, hands on his hips. "And you are?"

Kelsey half cracked open one eye and glanced down at him, then closed it again dismissively. "Sleeping."

Jareth clenched his jaw. "Clearly. Now, who are you, and why are you in my Labyrinth?"

Kelsey ignored him, fighting down a smirk as she heard him grinding his teeth. Seriously, this guy was way too easy to mess with. No wonder the worm wanted her to play some. He really needed to chill out and find some humour.

"Get down here, girl!" Jareth was snarling now, fighting the urge to pace.

"No." The response was quiet but firm, for all that the glee in her voice couldn't be completely contained.

Jareth blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

Kelsey waved her hand negligently in his direction. "Not a problem, just don't do it again."

The Knights and Knaves looked between the furious face of their King and the reclining girl on top of the wall, and decided that containing their mirth might be best. They could barely wait to tell everyone who would listen all about this at the pub later.

"Do you know who I am, girl?"

Finally Kelsey sat up, looking down at him with concern. Dropping down off the wall with surprisingly little sound, she took the few steps to Jareth's side and put a hand comfortingly on his shoulder. "Oh dear, have you had this memory loss for very long? Never mind, we'll figure out who you are, have no fear!" Turning to the Knights and Knaves, she winked, then resumed her concerned look. "Gentlemen, this poor fellow doesn't know who he is! Do you think you could help us get to the castle? I'm sure someone there might be able to help!" Turning back to look at Jareth when he snarled and slapped her hand from his shoulder, she carefully maintained her expression.

"Stupid girl! I am the King!" Before he could continue with whatever rant he was warming up to, his ears were assaulted by a loud squeal.

"Oh my god! _Elvis_? So _this_ is where you ended up? I've gotta say, you look completely different! I didn't recognise you _at all_! Even your voice is different!" Kelsey looked up at him with starry eyes and a beaming smile.

Jareth stared at her, leaning away slightly. "Uh, what?" He cringed internally at his less than eloquent response, and even more so at having lost control of the conversation.

Unable to help themselves any longer, the Knights and Knaves burst out laughing, tears starting to leak down their cheeks. Leaning against each other, they howled, clutching their ribs, unable to stop even as their sovereign glared at them.

Turning away from his hysterical subjects, he snarled in the infuriating girls face. "You try my patience! Who are you?"

Kelsey dropped the act, relaxing nonchalantly with her weight on one hip. "Name's Kelsey. I'm Sarah's cousin." She drawled, her Australian accent thickening slightly now that she wasn't mocking his British tones. Holding up a hand when Jareth opened his mouth, she continued, "Not here to help her, and wouldn't even if she asked. She got herself into this, she can get herself out of it again. I only tagged along to make sure Toby was ok. He seems happy enough at your castle, and your goblins seem happy and well cared for, so I'm not worried. In all honesty, he would probably be better off here anyway."

Jareth glared, examining her closely. She was telling the truth, he could tell, and despite her relaxed posture, she was fully prepared to dodge or defend herself if necessary. He tilted his head as he continued his perusal. "Why do you say that?"

"That he would be better here?" At his nod, she shrugged. "Poor kid doesn't get any real attention or affection. Karen shoves him into daycare or forces Sarah to babysit all the time, and Sarah resents him and shouts and neglects him. I've tried to help, but Karen won't let me near him, and Sarah is convinced I'm trying to take her place in the family. His neglect isn't enough to involve child services or anything, but he deserves better. He's a sweet kid."

Jareth frowned. "Sarah neglects him?"

Kelsey nodded. "Yeah. To make it worse, the poor boy is teething. Molars seem to be coming in early. He was screaming. I know Karen didn't give him any painkillers or teethers, and Sarah was just shouting at him about ruining her life and hating him. Fairly standard night. Well, until you showed up looking like a Mardi Gras reject at least. Things got a little different after that." She grinned up at him, ignoring the still chortling guards.

Ignoring the insult to his fashion sense, Jareth frowned down at her. Was it possible he had misjudged Sarah so badly? He had been watching her at the park for months, and she had always seemed so sweet and kind, prone to flights of whimsy and enjoying the fantastical. A perfect Queen Candidate for a kingdom like his. But if what this girl was saying was correct, Sarah would be a disastrous choice. He didn't know this girl, and it was probable that she had ulterior motives, but perhaps some further observation would be prudent. It could only serve to reassure him that he had made the right choice in Sarah.

Decision made, he reached forward to grab Kelsey's arm, only for her to slip out of his reach like a breeze.

"No touching." Her tone was light and teasing, but the dangerous glint in her eyes made him reconsider trying to grab her again.

"My apologies," he sneered. "I would like to retire to the castle, and I have more questions for you. If you would accompany me?" He mockingly held out and elbow for her to take.

Insolently, Kelsey flipped her hair behind her shoulder. "I have a better idea. Why don't we go mess with Sarah some? See how she reacts when she sees me with you. Besides, I've already been to the castle. Nice place. Great view. Little drafty for my tastes. Also I wouldn't eat the stew tonight, the cook sneezed in it. So, Sarah?" She peered up at him innocently.

Jareth blinked at her. "Uh, alright?" He cursed mentally; she'd done it again!

Grinning, Kelsey took his offered arm. "Allons-y!"

* * *

Appearing in the tunnels, Kelsey quickly dropped Jareths arm. He pretended not to notice how quick she was to end the physical contact, but filed it away for future thought. He noticed her tank top had ridden up slightly, and the visible sliver of skin on her back looked shinier than the rest. He looked away as she tugged the top down absently, the movement of long habit. "So, what did you have in mind?" He drawled, reclining against the wall.

Kelsey pondered for a moment. "Where will she appear?" She studied the opening that Jareth indicated. Narrowing her eyes in thought, she peered around the other openings, noting light, shadows, angles of vision and a hundred other details. "Can you appear less… you?" Seeing Jareth's nod, she suggested "Perhaps if you were to be there, in disguise, and I'll stay out of sight for the moment. Ask her what she thinks of the Labyrinth or something. I'll make my appearance when I think it's the right moment. We'll wing it after that. Though perhaps…" She trailed off, chewing her lip thoughtfully.

"Perhaps?"

"Just go with the flow, ok? And maybe seem… like we're good friends? Casual, comfortable. That sort of thing. You know what I mean?"

Jareth nodded, and sat against the wall, conjuring a beggars costume to cover himself. Tossing a crystal into the air to lead Sarah and Hoggle to them, he watched as Kelsey stood casually against the wall next to the opening Sarah would emerge from. She didn't hide, she simply leaned, and somehow blended into the shadows. Unless she moved or spoke, your eyes would simply skip over her. Jareth was grudgingly impressed. He tried not to think about why he was going along with this girls plan, and why he was letting her tell him what to do. Though it had been a long time since he had been able to prank someone, and it _did_ give him the opportunity to interact with Sarah.

Hearing footsteps approach, he smirked and took a stooped and defeated pose. The crystal tumbled over to him and jumped into his begging cup. Adopting a cackling voice, he asked, "Well, what have we here?"

Hoggle shifted nervously. "Ah, nothing?"

Jareth tensed. "Nothing?" Standing, he threw his disguise aside. "Nothing? Nothing, tra la la?"

"Oh! Your Majesty! What a nice surprise!" Hoggle stuttered and fidgeted.

Jareth stood with his hands on his hips. "Hello Hedgewart."

"Hogwart." Sarah piped up helpfully.

"Hoggle!" The dwarf scowled in irritation.

Jareth stifled his grin. "Hoggle, could it be you are _helping_ this girl?"

"Helping?" Hoggle stuttered. "In what sense?"

"In the sense that you are leading her directly towards the castle!"

"No no no! I was taking her back to the beginning Your Majesty!" Jareth darted a quick look at Sarah's face, fighting a smirk at her indignant exclamation. "I told _her_ I was going to help her solve the Labyrinth, a little trickery on my part, when actually…"

The little man trailed off as Jareth knelt in front of him, thoughtfully resting his fingers against his chin and affecting a slightly revolted expression. "What _is_ that plastic thing around your wrist?"

Hoggle fidgeted, hiding his hand then revealing it again, clearly unsure which course of action would be the safer option. "Oh this?" He tittered nervously. "My goodness, where did this come from?"

Jareth stood and slowly advanced towards the dwarf. "Higgle…"

"Hoggle."

"Yes," Jareth drawled, "if I thought for one second that you were betraying me, I'd be forced to suspend you head first in the Bog of Eternal Stench."

Hoggle keened and fell to his knees, grasping at his King's legs. "No Your Majesty! Not the Eternal Stench!"

Growling, Jareth shoved Hoggle off him. "Oh _yes_, Hoggle!" Turning, he stalked towards Sarah. "And you, Sarah," he leaned on the wall behind her with one arm, looming over her slightly. "How are you enjoying my Labyrinth?"

Looking up at him, Sarah swallowed and visibly screwed up her courage. Looking him in the eye, she challenged, "It's a piece of cake!"

A chuckle came from the previously unnoticed figure leaning against the wall. Kelsey wandered towards them, hands in her pockets, overly casual. Sarah stiffened and glared hatefully. "What are _you_ doing here?"

Jareth merely appeared bored as he glanced over his shoulder. "There you are. Wondered where you'd gotten to."

Kelsey ignored Sarah, instead nodding to Jareth and turning to Hoggle with a grin. "Hoggle! Haven't seen you in hours! How's tricks?"

Hoggle shuffled uncomfortably, but offered a shy smile and a mocking sniff. "I have no idea what you mean."

Still grinning, Kelsey looked over her shoulder at Sarah. "Hey cuz! Glad to see you got out of the oubliette alright!"

Sarah snarled. "What the hell are you doing here? Didn't I tell you to leave me alone?"

Kelsey tilted her head and let her eyes lose focus for a moment. "No, as I recall you declared the Knights and Knaves a piece of cake, fell into the oubliette, and then spewed obscenities at me. Though I suppose being told to go cram my head up a monkeys arse could _loosely_ be interpreted as 'go away'."

Hoggle snorted, and quickly hid it in a cough, hiding his grin. Jareth didn't even bother trying to hide his amusement. "Oh, that was you?" He smirked at Kelsey. "I was wondering who she was talking to."

Kelsey shrugged and smirked back. "Yes, well, I'd already been to the castle and back. I was getting bored."

Sarah flushed furiously. "What do you mean you've already been to the castle? That's not possible!"

Kelsey raised an eyebrow. "For you maybe."

Jareth interjected at that point, vaguely concerned that the girls would come to blows. "Well then, since my Labyrinth is so _easy_, why don't we up the stakes?" A clock appeared in mid-air and Jareth twirled his finger, removing four hours from the available time.

Sarah gasped in outrage. "But that's not _fair_!"

Sneering, Jareth rebutted "You say that so often. I wonder what your basis for comparison is."

Kelsey merely rolled her eyes.

Sarah glared at her cousin again. "This is all your fault! I'll never get Toby back and he will be turned into a goblin and it will be all your fault!" She punctuated her statement by stamping her foot.

Giving the petulant girl a scornful look, Kelsey glanced at Jareth and winked. "I'm getting a bit peckish. Fancy a cup of tea?"

Jareth tilted his head before nodding and offering his elbow again. "Very well. Your usual?"

Kelsey beamed up at him and took the offered arm. "Cheers!" Pausing, she moaned slightly and licked her lips, turning imploring eyes up at the amused Fae. "And cake? I'm totally craving a piece of cake!"

Before he could answer, Sarah snarled. "I thought you didn't like people touching you? Or is it just that you haven't shown this glitter freak your scars yet for him to run away screaming?"

Jareth narrowed his eyes, then turned to Kelsey as if Sarah hadn't spoken. "I believe we have cake. Though before we go, I'd like to see what Sarah thinks of this little slice!" Hurling a crystal down the passageway, he quickly transported Kelsey and himself to the castle, but not before the girl got a glimpse of the machine covered in swirling spinning blades barrelling towards her cousin and the dwarf.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Immediately disentangling herself from Jareth on arrival at the castle, Kelsey stepped away to lean next to the window, staring out across the Labyrinth.

Jareth observed her quietly for a moment, before clearing his throat. "Do you actually want tea? Because if you do, I'm afraid I don't know what your usual is." He smirked faintly.

Chuckling, Kelsey turned to him. "Thanks, I am thirsty, but I know better than to eat or drink Fairy Food."

Pursing his lips, Jareth fought a grin. The girl was smart. He was grudgingly impressed. "So I assume you don't want cake either?"

The slender girl laughed outright then. "Pass, thank you. But I appreciate the offer." She glanced around the room. "That thing you set on Sarah and Hoggle, what was that?"

Jareth sprawled over his throne. "A Cleaner. Don't worry, I gave them a way out, and Hoggle knows how to play his part. They won't be harmed."

Kelsey relaxed slightly. "Cool. I figured it was something like that, but it's nice to have the reassurance." Perching on the window ledge, she curled her legs up in front of her. "So, still think Sarah is the sweet little thing she seems to be?"

"I saw antagonism between you, but that doesn't mean much. That could just be a personal issue." Jareth noted that despite her relaxed posture, Kelsey kept him in sight, and a direct line to the exit.

"True enough."

"I think it's time you gave me some clear answers."

"Oh? About what in particular?" Kelsey leaned her head back against the wall, rolling it so she could see Jareth without straining her eyes.

"About why and how you are here, and most importantly, who you are." Jareth didn't shift from his relaxed pose, draped across the throne.

Rolling her eyes, Kelsey examined her nails. "I've already answered all of those questions. Truthfully, I might add." She bit the inside of her lip, stopping herself from adding insults. He had played along with her, the least she could do was hold back her natural sarcasm for a while.

"Humour me."

Huffing a sigh, Kelsey gave him a level look. "My name is Kelsey Williams. I am Sarah's cousin. I followed the two of you through the portal you created, to make sure Toby was ok and would stay that way. I am not here to help Sarah. I would not, even if she asked. Which she wouldn't, because she hates me. Anything else you want to know?"

Tilting his head slightly, Jareth observed her for a moment. "Sarah mentioned scars. I saw some on your back when your shirt rode up a little."

Narrowed grey eyes met his. "Is that a question? 'Cos it sounded like a statement to me. One that relates to something that is none of your business."

"I'm curious."

"Too bad."

Jareth snarled and leapt forward, pinning her to the wall with his hand around her throat. His grip was firm enough that she couldn't move, but he didn't obstruct her breathing. Lowering his voice to a menacing growl, he leaned closer. "You will answer all of my enquiries or you will find yourself a guest in my dungeons until you do."

Kelsey gazed back calmly. "The dungeon? Kinky!"

Jareth was mildly disconcerted to realise that the girls pulse hadn't even fluttered. "I beg your pardon?"

Kelsey merely blinked up at him.

"I could have you killed."

"You could. But that won't get you the answers you want. And besides, I'm much more entertaining alive."

"You think I lack for entertainment?" Jareth asked, surprised.

"Perhaps entertainment is the wrong word. Challenge, maybe? I get the impression you get your way all the time. That must get awfully dull after a while."

Jareth blinked at her. "What?"

Kelsey smirked.

Jareth released her and stepped back. "You don't fear being tortured in my dungeon until you break? Is the story of your scars really worth that amount of pain?"

"Not really. It's just something personal. I don't like to talk about it." Kelsey kept her faintly bored gaze on him. "I'm sure you have things in your past that are personal and not open for discussion. Your first kiss, perhaps, or the first time your heart was broken?"

"I have no reason to discuss those with you."

"Just as I have no reason to discuss my scars. Now, was there anything else you wanted to know, or can I go explore your Labyrinth some more?"

"And what makes you think I would let you do that, even if I was done with my questions?" Jareth sprawled back onto his throne, closing his eyes and relaxing.

Kelsey waited until she was sure he wasn't going to open his eyes again, and silently slipped from her perch and ghosted out the door. She managed to restrain her chuckle, but couldn't stop the smug grin from sliding across her face. He was going to be so pissed off when he realised she was gone and not just being stubbornly silent. Strolling casually back through the kitchens and out of the castle, she did a few shuffling dance steps, and skipped into the Goblin Market.

* * *

Kelsey wandered, skirting around the junk yard outside the gates, and ambled into the forest behind it. Breathing deeply of the clean air, she smiled serenely as she walked, humming quietly. She listened to the creatures in the trees and the underbrush, relaxing for the first time since the fire. She shook her head, banishing the memories and focused on the sounds around her. So intent was she that she jumped when she looked up and saw a rather irritated looking Goblin King leaning against a tree next to the path, his arms crossed, eyes narrowed, and jaw clenched.

"Hello again!" she chirped, trying to mask her startled reaction.

Jareth stood straight, and began stalking towards her. "I dislike people who walk away from me."

"I'm sure it doesn't happen often. Think of it as a novelty." Kelsey looked around her casually, shifting to a slightly more guarded position. Hoggle's warning rang in her ears as she caught the look in the Fae's eyes.

"I always get what I want."

"How dull."

Kelsey yelped when Jareth lunged forward and caught her wrist, yanking her forwards and pinning her against his chest. She had brought her arms up defensively, only to find them crushed between their bodies, completely unable to move.

Smirking, Jareth lifted the back of her shirt slightly, and held a conjured crystal against the scar tissue. "Tell me about the scars."

Kelsey snarled and shoved fruitlessly against him. The memories flashed through her mind, but she ignored them. "Shove off, you vainglorious peacock!" Thrashing, she tried to kick out at him, only to have him neatly sidestep and let her go, sending her sprawling.

Jareth clucked in false sympathy, smirking faintly as she picked herself up and glared at him. "Vainglorious peacock? I must admit, I haven't heard that one before." He twirled the crystal over his fingers tauntingly. "Do you want to know what this is?"

"Should I care?" the furious girl snarled as she crossed her arms defensively.

Humming slightly in amusement, Jareth continued twirling the crystal. "My crystals can be many things. This particular one is a Memory Reader. I touched it to your scars, and brought the memories to the surface of your mind with my question. The crystal then collected and recorded them, for me to view at my leisure." He smirked. "You should never have challenged me, little girl. I never lose."

Kelsey snarled viciously. "You arrogant, narcissistic, self-entitled ponce! You have no right to those memories!" Her mind hissed at her to remember that she was dealing with Fairy Folk, and that she was going to insult him and get herself into trouble, but she was too angry to care. She lunged, trying to grab the crystal, only to have it dance effortlessly out of her reach on his dextrous fingers. Eyes stinging with tears, she lunged again, managing to tackle the Fae to the ground and send the crystal skittering away into the underbrush. Spinning on one knee, she braced herself in a crouch, facing the enraged king.

"You _dare_ to touch me?" Jareth snarled. "Are your precious memories worth your life?"

"No," Kelsey growled softly. "My privacy is."

Jareth stared at her calculatingly, then tilted his head. "You really would fight me on this, wouldn't you."

Kelsey nodded, despite it not being a question.

"Perhaps I could offer you something in exchange?" Jareth observed her reaction carefully. Deciding she was at least listening, he continued. "What would you want? Gold? Jewels? Magic? I can offer you your dreams…" He trailed off temptingly.

"Anything I want, really?" Kelsey eyed him sceptically. "In exchange for the memories."

"You underestimate the power of my curiosity." Came the dry response.

Kelsey chewed her lip as she thought. She knew she was playing a dangerous game, but at the same time, her own curiosity was urging her on. Perhaps this could be the solution to her problems. And it wasn't as if the memories were a high cost, beyond the pride and pain attached to them. Raising her eyes to his, she offered, "If I give you the memories, I want permission to stay here with free reign to explore anywhere in the labyrinth that I want. I will agree not to help anyone challenging it, but I will not be used to hinder them either."

Jareth shrugged, a movement that was disgustingly graceful. "I can agree to that." He flicked his fingers, and the crystal came soaring out of the bushes to his waiting hand. Gripping it firmly, he closed his eyes and pressed the orb to his forehead.

* * *

_Kelsey ran towards the burning house, ignoring the shouts of Marie and her parents. Her breath rasped in her throat, and she was already choking in the smoke, but she kept running. Diving into the inferno, she looked around desperately, covering her mouth and nose with her arm. Dashing down the hallway to her parent's room, she ignored the stinging of her eyes and the tight feeling on her skin. She had to find them. _

"_Mum? Dad?" She wheezed. "Where are you?"_

_Turning, she staggered to her little sister's room. "Lily?"_

_The cot was empty, but she spotted the limp forms of her parents and sister against the wall._

_Dropping to her knees next to them, she hacked, the acrid smoke burning her lungs. Grabbing Lily's limp body, Kelsey held her close to her chest and crawled back to the hallway and out the door. Gratefully taking deep breaths of the cooler air, she shoved her sister into Marie's mothers' arms. _

_Dodging her friend's father, she ran back into the building. The smoke was even thicker now, and Kelsey found herself staggering. Crouching, she scuttled to her parents, and tried not to cry. She couldn't drag them both, and she didn't know if she was strong enough to come back a third time. Panicked, she checked their pulses. They were both still alive, but barely. Running her hands through her hair, she tried to calm herself. Her gaze darted between them, trying to work out what to do. 'Mum first,' she decided. Dad would want her to save mum first. Grabbing her mother's arm, she heaved her into a fireman carry and staggered towards the door. The smoke was so thick she couldn't see, her eyes watering. The heat sucked the moisture from her skin, leaving it feeling raw and baked. _

_Marie's father was there to take the limp body from off her shoulder, and lay her down on the front lawn. Before Kelsey could turn back to the house, he had grabbed her in a bear hug, restraining her. _

"_You can't go back in there! The house is coming down!" He shouted into her ear._

"_Let me go! I have to save Dad!" Kelsey screamed, thrashing. _

"_It's suicide!"_

"_I have to save him!" Kelsey twisted free, ignoring every thought but getting to her father. _

_Running in one last time, heart pounding until it felt like it was going to burst through her chest, Kelsey dodged falling bits of roof and gouts of flame that licked at her. Coughing, she reached her father's side, and tried to pull him into the same carry she used on her mother. She couldn't do it. Her father was a big man, six foot tall, broad across the shoulders and solid muscle. His friends called him Bull, and not without reason. Sobbing, she hooked her arms under his shoulders and threw her bodyweight backwards. Heaving and dragging, her petite body trembling with fear and fatigue, she made their way across the room. Her plan was thwarted when a burning beam fell across the door, knocking her to the ground and searing across her back. She screamed as she felt her skin blister and burn, a thick shard of flaming wood digging into her side. She was trapped under the beam, the wood in her side pinning her to the floor. Trying to ignore the pain, she panted, twisting to try to snap the wood free. She knew she was losing too much blood, but she refused to give in. With a heave, she snapped the shard free and kicked the beam clear of the door. She sobbed as she felt the skin on her back blistering. She could hear the sirens in the distance, and felt dimly grateful that Marie had remembered to call for help. She staggered, dragging her father as best she could. She could see the door at the end of the hallway. They were going to make it. She refused to accept any other outcome. _

_Finally emerging from the flames, she felt hands pulling her father clear and helping her stagger away from the hell behind her. Collapsing into the arms of the firefighters, she finally gave into unconsciousness._

… "_Dead when you pulled them out"…_

… "_Very brave"…_

… "_Scar tissue on your back. Nothing we can do"…_

… "_No other family. We will make arrangements"…_

… "_Ashes to ashes, dust to dust"…_

… "_The hell are these scars? No way am I touching that! Who would? You're hideous!"…_

… "_Best you leave as soon as you are of age"…_

* * *

Jareth opened his eyes and met Kelsey's cool gaze. He licked his lips and found it surprisingly difficult to meet her eyes. "You tried to save them."

"I failed." Her voice was flat.

"I saw how Sarah and her mother treat you."

"Karen is her step mother. I'd suggest not making that mistake in front of Sarah." Kelsey turned and sat, leaning back against a tree with her eyes closed.

Jareth observed her quietly for a moment. He couldn't find it in himself to pity her. She was too strong for that. He admitted to himself that he felt a surprising respect for the delicate girl. She was a survivor, a fighter. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Kelsey didn't open her eyes. "For invading my privacy? I consider allowing me to stay here to be just payment for that."

Jareth hesitated. "I would like to offer you something, more."

Kelsey did open her eyes then, and she glanced at him before resuming her relaxed pose. "In exchange for?"

Jareth shifted, and debated with himself in silence for a moment. Deciding, he removed his gloves, revealing hands covered in scar tissue. Kelsey stared, eyes flicking between them and his face. She licked her lips. "I'm assuming its ok for me to ask what happened."

Jareth closed his eyes and began. "I am the youngest of thirteen. You may be familiar with one of my older brothers, Puck. When I was a child, I idolized him. The feeling was not mutual. One day he caught me in his chambers. He had a collection of crystals." Jareth paused and conjured one of his own, staring at it moodily. "I was fascinated with them, and had learned how to make them so that I could impress him. I was holding one of his, a beautiful one with blue and green smoky swirls dancing inside it. He startled me and I dropped it, smashing it on the floor. He flew into a rage and grabbed me. He held my hands in the burning coals of his fireplace until my hands were ruined." He paused again and dismissed his orb, then continued, his voice husky. "When it came time for me to choose a bride, the only woman I wanted rejected me when she saw my hands. She refused to let me touch her, even innocently, claiming that I was hideous. A scarred freak." He ignored Kelsey's slight start. "I wish I could say my scars came from heroism such as yours. Maybe then they would be easier to bear."

Kelsey met his eyes, devoid of pity but full of understanding. "Not really. They are reminders of my failure. The day I lost everything and became a monster that no one wants. Untouchable. Unlovable." She stood, and gently took his hand. Stepping closer, she looked up at him as she lightly placed it against the scars on her back. They stood there for a moment, before returning to their original positions, feeling slightly awkward.

Jareth smiled, a bitter twist of his lips. Abruptly, he changed the subject. "I could use someone like you."

Kelsey snorted. "If that's some kind of pick up line, it needs work."

Jareth smiled faintly and shook his head. "Not like that. As you have pointed out, I get my own way far too often. I could use a companion who isn't afraid to stand up to me when necessary. Though I _could_ marry you I suppose." He smirked thoughtfully.

"Again with the pick up lines! And no, waking up next to your snaggle toothed head every morning is not on my list of things to do, thanks all the same." She grinned back.

Loosing a frustrated growl, Jareth dropped down next to her and mimicked her pose against the tree, tugging his gloves back on. "I have already given you sanctuary, and now I am offering friendship. Whilst your behaviour since your arrival has been infuriating, I can't deny that this is the most fun I've had in a long time. I am loathe to give that up."

"So what exactly are you proposing?"

Jareth chuckled faintly at the suspicious tone. "I give you carte blanche to torment me and get into mischief as you see fit, without fear of reprimand. Though naturally I'd prefer you exercise some judgement for time and place. I would like a genuine friend. Someone I can trust and talk with. Someone who will tell me the truth."

Kelsey sat quietly for a moment. "You're lonely."

"Yes." Jareth confessed softly.

"I suppose I can appreciate that. But from my understanding of Fairy Folk, any agreement needs to be an exchange, otherwise I will owe you a debt. And I'd rather not be your slave, thanks all the same."

"What would you like? If you are staying here, you will need somewhere to live. Perhaps a suite in the castle?"

Kelsey snorted. "That drafty old thing? God no!" She thought for a few moments. "If I'm staying here and getting into mischief, I'm at a huge disadvantage." Pondering her wording for a moment, she spoke again before Jareth could interject. "I propose we break your previous offer into two parts. In exchange for entertaining you with my antics and general misbehaviour, I want a cottage of my own design, here in the forest, with its own water source and vegetable garden. The garden should be self-sustaining and always have harvestable food. 'Cos god knows I'd kill everything if I had to do the gardening myself. Is that part agreeable?"

Jareth nodded. "Pick a specific location and draw your design. You can stay in a guest room until it is built and habitable. I'm sure you can tolerate the drafts until then." He grinned at her.

Chuckling, Kelsey continued, "As for the friendship element, I would have some specific terms for that. For it to be a genuine friendship, there needs to be free exchange. No keeping track of debts. Free exchange of gifts when desired. No using your position against me unless I actually break the law."

"I thought that was implied under the title of Friendship, but I can appreciate your clarification. Before that can be implemented though, I would feel better if I could give you one request in exchange. What would you ask for?"

"Hmm. Can you gift me abilities? Is that appropriately scaled for this sort of exchange?"

"Yes, and I suppose so. Any abilities in particular?"

Kelsey flashed him a mischievous grin. "Give me magic that I can learn how to use in whatever way I choose. And the ability to transport myself like you do. That will make annoying, um, I mean, entertaining you much easier."

Jareth chuckled. "I have no idea what I'm in for, do I." An innocent expression was the only response. "Alright. I can do that. Come here." He leaned forward and kissed her before she could respond. Breathing into her mouth, he sent tendrils of magic through her body, gripping her upper arms tightly to prevent her moving. She was frozen, tense, and he terminated the kiss as soon as he was finished Gifting her. "Come back to the castle with me. Since you are staying, you have nothing to fear from eating or drinking. And you need to learn how to Transport."

Dazed, Kelsey nodded. "Yeah, um, let's do that."

Raising an eyebrow, Jareth smirked at her. "Judging by your face, I'm going to say that kiss was better for you than it was for me." He dropped his voice lower and leaned closer, purring seductively. "And it was very good for me."

Kelsey snapped back to herself and gave him a playful, though somewhat ungentle thump in the stomach. "Oh give it a rest, you fatuous glitter bound egotist!" Glaring slightly, she concentrated, and with a shimmer, disappeared.

Jareth raised an impressed eyebrow, then followed to make sure his newest annoyance hadn't gotten herself stuck in a wall.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Kelsey sat in the Escher Room, playing with Toby and a crystal Jareth had conjured. She would miss the sweet little boy. Maybe Sarah would grow up and actually look after him properly, but she doubted it. Still, she could hope.

She checked her fingernails and picked at the green dye under them and chuckled to herself. Jareth hadn't been thrilled when he discovered she had spiked his bath oils with it, resulting in him looking like a scrawny Hulk fanboy. But his loud and undignified squawk had been worth it. And her immunity from punishment was helpful.

Listening, she could hear Jareth singing to Sarah, and snorted under her breath. Sarah was running around, trying to find her way to Toby, but she had no idea what she was doing. The room really was quite simple when you approached it properly. Like the rest of the Labyrinth, you simply needed to ask it to take you where you wanted to go. Not everything needed to be conquered. Finally, she picked up Toby and sat him on her hip as Sarah jumped. Jareth pulled the gravity of the room apart to ease her fall, preventing her from being injured. Not that Sarah thanked him of course.

Kelsey Transported herself to behind Sarah, back in the shadows, and listened.

"Give me the child," Sarah demanded.

"Sarah, beware. I have been generous up until now, but I can be cruel." Jareth stalked towards her, his white fur cloak fluttering slightly.

"Generous?" Sarah stared, a faintly contemptuous expression on her face. "What have you done that's generous?"

"Everything! Everything you have wanted I have done. You asked that the child be taken. I took him. You cowered before me. I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for _you_! I am exhausted from living up to your expectations of me. Isn't that generous?"

Sarah adopted a dreamy expression and stepped towards Jareth, forcing him to back away. "Through dangers untold, and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the Castle Beyond the Goblin City, to take back the child that you have stolen. For my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom-"

"Sarah stop!" Jareth hissed, holding up a hand between them. "Wait. Look, Sarah. Look what I'm _offering_ you! Your _dreams_…" His voice had dropped to a crooning whisper as he held a crystal out to her. His eyes darted over Sarah's shoulder as he caught Kelsey's restless movement. He trained his eyes back onto Sarah.

"And my kingdom as great…" Sarah's empty gaze and quiet voice drifted between them.

Jareth winced and looked back at Kelsey, disgusted with himself for his lack of focus. He forcibly wrenched his eyes back to Sarah, and made himself observe her in minute detail. What he found didn't please him. He thought back on her behaviour as she ran the Labyrinth, and what he had seen through Kelsey's memories. For the first time he noticed the sulky pout that never seemed to dissipate, and the bored gaze. She recited the words from her precious book, and he realised that for Sarah, this was little more than a game. A play for her to star in. She could never see him as a real person; he was an avatar, an opposing force. A villain for her to push against. He closed his eyes. She would make a disastrous Queen. Snapping his eyes open again, he changed his plan. "Sarah, you will not win. Take the crystal. Take your dreams. Give up the baby." He swept an arm in a dramatic gesture towards Kelsey.

Sarah turned, seeing her cousin and brother standing near a broken arch. She snarled. "Give him here!"

Kelsey didn't move, her arms securely around the little boy as he clung to her. "Your business is with my King, not with me. I will hand him over when he tells me to, and not before." Her voice was calm, almost bored.

Jareth smirked. "See how he clings to her? He doesn't want you. Take the crystal. There is no shame in taking the prize you want. Nobody but you will ever know." He held out the clear orb again.

Sarah hesitated.

The clock struck thirteen.

Magic swirled around her, whisking her back to her own world, leaving both the crystal and her brother behind. Her wail of "It's not _fair_!" lingered breathlessly in the air for a moment, before fading away.

* * *

The silence was heavy as Jareth and Kelsey stared at each other, unable to find the words. Toby began to shift and change in Kelsey's arms. Hair sprouted from his ears as they grew to enormous proportions. His eyes grew huge, bulging slightly. His lips thinned, but maintained a sweet smile under his button nose. Claws erupted from fingers and toes, and a stubby tufted tail stretched from his tailbone. The greenish tinge stealing across his skin was the final change before he wiggled down onto the floor and ran away with a cackle.

"Well, that was exciting!" Kelsey broke the silence.

Jareth stared at her.

Kelsey stretched her arms up above her head, reaching until her back popped noisily. "You were totally going to propose." She grinned.

Jareth sniffed haughtily. "Don't be absurd. Sarah would have been a most unsuitable Queen."

"Well, yeah, but you were fooled by the pretty green eyes at first. Admit it."

"I admit no such thing," Jareth huffed as they moved towards the exit.

"Uh huh. Well, I know the truth. You were going to lay yourself down at her feet like a good little slave. And believe me, you would have been." Kelsey glanced at him sideways. "I'm glad you didn't. I would have been _royally_ pissed with you if you had." She smirked.

"Kelsey?" He threw an arm around her shoulders.

"Mm?"

"Shut up."

They entered the throne room and Kelsey sketched a bow as Jareth slumped onto the throne. "As His Glitteriness commands, so I obey. Maybe." She winked and Transported away with a grin.

Jareth swore loudly as a bucket of glitter pored itself over his head and the goblins all stood to attention and shouted "All hail The Glitter Git!"

Jareth looked at his laughing and clearly bribed subjects and sighed. He had a feeling he was going to regret this bargain. Sitting back, he began plotting his revenge.


End file.
